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A Pastor, A Mama, And The Mouse

Beauty Pageant or Preparing for War

Maybe … just maybe … you were created for such a time as this (Esther 4:14)

The story of Queen Esther is one of my favorites. It was kind of an aspiration as I was growing up to be used in such a mighty way as Esther was. She was a nobody (like a lot of the other people that God used) and yet she was used to save her entire nation from someone who didn’t like them because they were different. I understood her wanting to stay hidden. Her nervousness. Her uncertainty. Her feeling like she couldn’t do it. I recognized and understood it, because I felt like I saw me in her.

Recently, I began reading the book The Esther Anointing by Michelle McClain-Walters – now I’m not finished with it I’m only in chapter 4, but my eyes have been opened up to how much more Queen Esther’s story means. You see, my last few years haven’t been all sunshine and rainbows. We have had several big moves, we left a home and ministry we loved and lived in uncertainty – not really understanding what was going on and where God was actually calling us to or what he was calling us to. I was used to being the one who was taken care of when illness set in and I had to become the sole caregiver as we maneuvered illness, uncertainty, covid, living in unknown areas – basically our lives being turned completely upside down.

Now, I know we all know the story of Esther … she’s the young girl who was entered into what we generally depict as a Beauty Pageant trying to win the affection of the king (even though she truly didn’t *want* it). Out of all of the girls picked only one would be the new Queen. And we all know how it ends – she is picked, events happen, and she has to go before the king without being called first – something that could quite literally result in death. She goes before him and instead of receiving a death penalty she saves her entire people. (If you have no idea what I’m talking about – go read the book of Esther. It’s only 10 chapters – you can do it!)

Esther was a jewish girl who was maybe only 12 or 13 … that’s only 2-3 years older than my N. She was essentially just a child, but Queen Vashti had been banished by the King for NOT appearing when being summoned so he was on the hunt for a new queen. All of the girls around this age were gathered together and entered into what we generally think of as a beauty pageant – but that couldn’t be further from the truth. All of these girls who were “collected” to go through these beauty treatments and put before the king were never actually going back to their families. They were now to be slaves and concubines of the king.

These young girls entered into a years worth of beauty treatments. The first six months they were giving myrrh treatments. Myrrh is an oil that was used for many, many different things. It helps with indigestion, skin problems, reduces inflammation … just to name a few. Then it was followed by 6 more months of being submersed in perfumes and ointments. This wasn’t a time of pampering but rather, preparing for war. She didn’t realize it at the time, but she was having favor poured out over here along with the myrrh, and perfumes, and ointments. Favor to raise up and fulfill the destiny on her life that she, nor anyone else, even knew existed.

She was ripped from her home. Thrown through over a year of treatments, probably having every flaw and every insecurity brought to light. Showing off what was wrong with her and what needed to be fixed in order to be picked by the King. Being picked by the King made life much easier than being cast into servitude and knowing you’re second rate. Something that we quite often look at as pampering from the outside is a hard truth. A turn of events that are casting you into your destiny. A time in your life that is setting you up and preparing you for warfare.

I didn’t understand what God was doing through those few years – I still don’t thoroughly understand why he did what he did, why we were and are allowed to walk through this, but I can’t help to think it’s because warfare is coming. He’s preparing me for such a time as this. He’s been preparing me to know that I have the inner strength, the strength that can only come from Him, to be able to do what is needed. To be able to “save my people”. Now, I’m not a savior, and I know that. There’s only one savior and that is Jesus Christ, but he, too, suffered in ways we couldn’t imagine to save His people. To show those around Him LOVE and who God truly is. I’m no Jesus – I’ll never be perfect. I’ll continually question. I’ll continually doubt some things. I’ll continually think I’m not good enough and like God probably made an excuse because who would use someone like me to do big and mighty things? But the true fact of the matter is, just like Queen Esther – I am a daughter of the King of Kings. I AM capable. I DO have unmerited favor. I AM blessed. I DO have the strength, courage, anointing to walk into those situations that seem hopeless. Situations that if one thing goes wrong I could be put to death. Or maybe, just maybe, I can help save a whole nation.

Here’s some encouragement for today: If you’re feeling like you’re “going through Hell .. .keep on going” just like the country song. Others may think you’re walking through a beauty pageant when really you’re preparing for war. Keep your eyes set forward. Your eyes, heart, and mind on the King. He won’t lead you astray because he’s created you for such a time as this.


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